Aamir khan is probably the most popular Indian blogger. As we all know he is an intelligent person, a wonderful film maker. It is very interesting to know about him from his own words, rather than getting the half truths from magazines. I know some news paper correspondents who read Aamir khan’s blog regularly, because after he has written some thing a little controversial, it will be in the next day’s paper.
I read Aamir khan’ blog regularly, and it is the latest one appeared in his blog made me write this post. Aamir khan writes about his new house in Panchgani he recently bought. He talks about the beautiful and peaceful Panchgani, how he and his family settling down comfortably and also talks about his dog, which he bought together with the house from the previous owners. Now, the interesting point is that, the dog is called “Shahrukh” !! Aamir wrote some funny lines like “Shahrukh is licking my feet” etc, which I thought was a little low in standard for some one like Aamir. Even though Aamir did not mean to insult Shahrukh, (he says so) it could cause some disturbances in Shahrukh’s camp. I can understand that Shahrukh has come to know about it and he decided to keep a ‘dignified silence’ about it. I respect him for that and I think that was a good reaction. The silence from Shahrukh saved a lot of dirty fight in public, even though it may encourage Aamir to say some more naughty things in future. Is it attention Aamir looking for? I don’t know.
I was trying to think that it must be his sense of humour made him write something like that. What a weird kind of sense of humour! Even though he has a dog by that name, was it necessary to write about it, specially those kind of lines ? I don’t know. Anyway, I am thinking about the dog. What a lucky dog! Name Shahrukh and caressed by Aamir!
Friday 16 May 2008
Wednesday 7 May 2008
Busy mamma.
It's 3am here, I am sitting in the coffee room, at work. I am starting to feel sleepy, but it is time to get back to work soon. I was busy during the day, with guests at home. I like this time of the night when the world around me is asleep, nothing to disturb me. I can think clearly without any distraction. when I was a child, I used to be a lot afraid of the dark. I used to think that something hiding in the dark and jump on me any minute. this fear slowly faded away as I grew older. I am not that scared now , but the tranquility sometimes is not very pleasant, so still I leave the light on in the hallway at night.There are four birthdays in the family this month, and I am worried. the first one is on day after tomarrow,my husband's. I am doing the meals. There will be 20-25 people, including kids. Not inviting anyone from outside, it is going to be a family affair, only family members are invited. I like when all brothers and sisters and their families sit around a table and talk and joke and share some food. Even though we all live nearby, we don't see each other a lot because of everyone's work and kids and busy schedules. We get together on every saturday at my house, but most of the time few of them will be missing. I am looking forward to having a nice time, we have arranged some games for kids. My daughter has already started blowing up balloons and decorating. Will get a photo and post it here later.
See you soon in two days time. :)
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See you soon in two days time. :)
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Monday 5 May 2008
The last laugh!
Harbhajan singh has been banned from further IPL league matches. He will be allowed to play the semi final matches if his team reaches the semi finals, which is highly unlikely. Harbhajan apologised to Sreesanth again in front of the hearing committee, and said that he won’t be appealing against the verdict (wise decision!). Sreesanth has been given a written warning on his on-field antics. Even thought the BCCI enquiry is pending, it is believed that Harbhajan won’t be punished twice for the same mistake. Hopefully things will be better from now on. Hopefully the new young players of the team will learn something from this incident. Games like 20-20 needs aggressive playing, but aggression and rudeness are different. Sreesanth wisely tried to downplay the incident, may be he knew that it is not going to go unnoticed, when there are 45 cameras looking at them in all the angles possible, and there are lots of eyewitnesses including his team owners. Harbhajan kept silence about it throughout, may have realised that is the last favour he can do for himself at the moment.
Now that he got a break from continuous playing and travelling, Harbhajan can join a rehab clinic for anger management. He is a wise cricketer, wise enough to know that this time he escaped narrowly from a life ban. Sreesanth also can be happy about getting beaten up by Harbhajan and not Andrew Symonds (can you imagine that ?!). Everybody remember the Indian tour of Australia where Harbhajan caused constant problems with the Australian team. Every time BCCI came to his rescue and the racism issue was so close, but again Sachin tendulkar’s presence in the crease saved him. Harbhajan was there in the centre of every on field spats, where as Sreesanth has been lucky, got away with everything all the time. There are many players in the world of cricket happy about Harbhajan’s “holidays” at Sreesanth’s expense. Everyone who knows both these players must be knowing that whatever happened was inevitable, and there isn’t a lot of surprise about it.
Now, who has the last laugh? Sreesanth? Yes, he won the case, but the real happy smiles will be on the faces of Matthew Hayden, Andrew Symonds, Ricky Ponting, cricket Australia and ofcourse Fox sports and Channel nine.
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Now that he got a break from continuous playing and travelling, Harbhajan can join a rehab clinic for anger management. He is a wise cricketer, wise enough to know that this time he escaped narrowly from a life ban. Sreesanth also can be happy about getting beaten up by Harbhajan and not Andrew Symonds (can you imagine that ?!). Everybody remember the Indian tour of Australia where Harbhajan caused constant problems with the Australian team. Every time BCCI came to his rescue and the racism issue was so close, but again Sachin tendulkar’s presence in the crease saved him. Harbhajan was there in the centre of every on field spats, where as Sreesanth has been lucky, got away with everything all the time. There are many players in the world of cricket happy about Harbhajan’s “holidays” at Sreesanth’s expense. Everyone who knows both these players must be knowing that whatever happened was inevitable, and there isn’t a lot of surprise about it.
Now, who has the last laugh? Sreesanth? Yes, he won the case, but the real happy smiles will be on the faces of Matthew Hayden, Andrew Symonds, Ricky Ponting, cricket Australia and ofcourse Fox sports and Channel nine.
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Sreesanth Vs Harbhajan?
Sreesanth and Harbhajan singh are in another contraversy again. All happened after friday's mohali-mumbai match which took place in mohali. It was an important match for both the teams because both of them lost their first two games and they were under tremendous pressure. Finally, it happened to be mohali's day and they won the match. Harbhajan singh was leading the mumbai side in the abscence of injured Sachin Tendulkar. He was very upset and angry about the performances of few of his team mates. on their way back to the dressing room, the ecstatic mohali paceman Sreesanth greeted Harbhajan by saying "bad luck Bhajji". Harbhajan singh lost all his control and hit Sreesanth on his face. The world saw shocked Sreesanth weeping uncontrollably infront of the crowd in the ground. Before that, during the match when Sreesanth got two wickets, his screaming and staring at the fallen batsmen already caused some amount of irritation amongst the mumbai team members.
In the evening, Harbhajan went to mohali dressing room and had a long chat with Sreesanth and apologised to him. After this both this players tried to downplay the whole incident saying that they have sorted it out. But the mohali team management lodged a complaint against Harbhajan for attacking their key paceman. The match referee is studiying the case and examining evidences like the video clippings and talking to the witnesses. Harbhajan has been infamously named a "bad boy" after his constant rows with other players throughout his career.
Here the basic issue is that both these players are not showing the right kind of sportsman spirit. A true sportsman should take the defeat and win with a smile on his face. Sreesanth is madly happy when he wins and Harbhajan is madly angry when he loses. This is an unhealthy approach towards the game. In the new generation, young people face competiotion day to day basis, in everywhere. As experienced players, these people should at least know that success and failure are two inevitable parts of the game. One of them must lose. They should learn to accept the fact that the other person played better, so he won. It will be better if he try to find what went wrong, and correct it ; so that there may be a chance to win the next game.
Whatever the reason is, physically attacking a fellow player is totally unacceptable. This should be investigated and if proved guilty, Harbhajan should be give an ideal punishment so that no one will dare to do it in future. Sreesanth also should be warned not to provoke other players, which leads to incidents like this.
In the evening, Harbhajan went to mohali dressing room and had a long chat with Sreesanth and apologised to him. After this both this players tried to downplay the whole incident saying that they have sorted it out. But the mohali team management lodged a complaint against Harbhajan for attacking their key paceman. The match referee is studiying the case and examining evidences like the video clippings and talking to the witnesses. Harbhajan has been infamously named a "bad boy" after his constant rows with other players throughout his career.
Here the basic issue is that both these players are not showing the right kind of sportsman spirit. A true sportsman should take the defeat and win with a smile on his face. Sreesanth is madly happy when he wins and Harbhajan is madly angry when he loses. This is an unhealthy approach towards the game. In the new generation, young people face competiotion day to day basis, in everywhere. As experienced players, these people should at least know that success and failure are two inevitable parts of the game. One of them must lose. They should learn to accept the fact that the other person played better, so he won. It will be better if he try to find what went wrong, and correct it ; so that there may be a chance to win the next game.
Whatever the reason is, physically attacking a fellow player is totally unacceptable. This should be investigated and if proved guilty, Harbhajan should be give an ideal punishment so that no one will dare to do it in future. Sreesanth also should be warned not to provoke other players, which leads to incidents like this.
Please !
I was thinking about a topic to write something for sometime. In fact, I wrote something, but a bit hesitant to publish it because I am afraid it may hurt someone. For someone, it may be difficult to see things through my point of view. One person perceived to be a not so good one has a bit of a task ahead to prove otherwise. For anyone, it is easy to make assumptions on anyone, which most of the time is not true. Who wants to know the truth, unless and until it is going to affect one personally?
People try to be nice sometimes, even thought they don’t want to be, because the society and situation they are in force them. This is like a religious person’s deed, doing nice things for the fear of punishment. His religious belief motivates him to be good. Most of us like to be not very good, at least when we can get away with it. Usually people relate the good and bad to their religious belief and to some of the society’s unwritten golden rule book. Good and bad, and right and wrong varies individually. I find myself a failure when I can’t prove myself worthy of something I truly deserve, in normal course. In my last unpublished writing, I am trying to tell a friend that trying to do everything perfect is not good. It can be categorized as a psychotic illness. It can be irritating to your colleagues and your boss at the same time. Trying to be a perfectionist at work and you never finish your work in time or out of time. I know that many perfectionists achieved great things in their lives, but in some cases like yours, when you blame yourself when things go wrong, when you are too hard on yourself , it changes in to a kind of mental disorder. Perfectionism in family life can be the worst thing to have. It never works that way. Flexibility and adjustments is much more important than being perfect. The most important problem here is that you want the others to be perfect as well. That is where the things go wrong really bad.
Right then! It’s been a lot of blah blah blah .. .... I hope I have said things in a mild, mellow tone. Hoping to see some changes, however subtle it is. Love you.
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People try to be nice sometimes, even thought they don’t want to be, because the society and situation they are in force them. This is like a religious person’s deed, doing nice things for the fear of punishment. His religious belief motivates him to be good. Most of us like to be not very good, at least when we can get away with it. Usually people relate the good and bad to their religious belief and to some of the society’s unwritten golden rule book. Good and bad, and right and wrong varies individually. I find myself a failure when I can’t prove myself worthy of something I truly deserve, in normal course. In my last unpublished writing, I am trying to tell a friend that trying to do everything perfect is not good. It can be categorized as a psychotic illness. It can be irritating to your colleagues and your boss at the same time. Trying to be a perfectionist at work and you never finish your work in time or out of time. I know that many perfectionists achieved great things in their lives, but in some cases like yours, when you blame yourself when things go wrong, when you are too hard on yourself , it changes in to a kind of mental disorder. Perfectionism in family life can be the worst thing to have. It never works that way. Flexibility and adjustments is much more important than being perfect. The most important problem here is that you want the others to be perfect as well. That is where the things go wrong really bad.
Right then! It’s been a lot of blah blah blah .. .... I hope I have said things in a mild, mellow tone. Hoping to see some changes, however subtle it is. Love you.
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Khalil Gibran.
When I was a teenager, as something very unusual for a teenager, I read Khalil Gibran’s poems and short stories religiously. I was a crazy, huge fan of Khalil Gibran (even now!). A special feeling was there when I get any of his books in my hand. A certain kind of addiction out of admiration developed in my mind for Khalil Gibran in my young age, which influenced me in many ways later in my life. My deep love and obsession for Khalil Gibran caused few problems even, for me that time.I saw Khalil Gibran’s book called “The Prophet “ for the first time when I was sixteen. A friend of mine, who was a medical student and my neighbour gave me this book of Khalil Gibran and asked me to copy the pencil drawing on its third page. I used to do pencil drawings and portraits, which were sort of nice looking. I have not done any of art work for many years now, I don’t know whether I can ever do something like that again. As you all know, when we are children, we show a lot of talents, and do a lot of things like drawing, singing, dancing, sports, etc etc. My “artistic talent” was probably just one of those things, I guess. I did the drawing, just about an OK one, but together with copying the drawing into a white paper, I happened to read that book and instantly fallen in love with it. My friend Dr.Rashid wanted that book back, so I took a new notebook and copied (handwritten) the whole book in to it. In a remote village in Malabar, it was just impossible to find a book of Khalil Gibran at that time, so I requested Dr.Rashid to get me books of Khalil Gibran, and he kindly brought some from Calicut, where he was studying for medicine. Later when I could buy things with my own money, Khalil Gibran’s books were the first ones I bought. The madman, kingdom of the imagination, the prophet, the wanderer , the death of the prophet are few of them.
I always thought that Khalil Gibran was as good as or may be better than William Shakespeare. But, he does not seem to be as famous as many other writers. I remember searching for khalil Gibran books in national library Calcutta in west Bengal. It is the biggest library in Asia. I could not find any books of Khalil Gibran and I asked a library assistant to help me find them. The library assistant looked at me as if he has never heard of Khalil Gibran before. I felt sorry for them as they are missing out on great works of such a great writer. Later I bought some books of Khalil Gibran and donated to our local library in Malabar.
I remember Khalil Gibran when I am trying to write something, without anything in my head. When I read each line from “The Prophet”, I realise that this is a god’s gift, to all of us. Whoever knows to read and write, must read “The Prophet”. The biblical resemblance to it makes it even reverent. My prayers are with Khalil Gibran, God bless his soul !
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I always thought that Khalil Gibran was as good as or may be better than William Shakespeare. But, he does not seem to be as famous as many other writers. I remember searching for khalil Gibran books in national library Calcutta in west Bengal. It is the biggest library in Asia. I could not find any books of Khalil Gibran and I asked a library assistant to help me find them. The library assistant looked at me as if he has never heard of Khalil Gibran before. I felt sorry for them as they are missing out on great works of such a great writer. Later I bought some books of Khalil Gibran and donated to our local library in Malabar.
I remember Khalil Gibran when I am trying to write something, without anything in my head. When I read each line from “The Prophet”, I realise that this is a god’s gift, to all of us. Whoever knows to read and write, must read “The Prophet”. The biblical resemblance to it makes it even reverent. My prayers are with Khalil Gibran, God bless his soul !
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When you know that you know ............
When you know that you know,
You want everyone to know that you know.
You feel too unique, and act as a god’s gift to the world.
You think your friends are lucky to have you as a friend.
You think your parents are the luckiest to have you as their offspring.
You feel too good about yourself to notice the best are passing by.
You try to do things which are far above your real capacity.
You boast and say things which are miles away from reality.
You think others who are not in your liking list are all waste.
You think that everyone else is supposed to like you.
You think you are always right and all the others are wrong.
You always make fun of people who are not in your liking list.
You act unsteady with your emotions to confuse others.
You try to achieve a lot of things in a very short time span.
You lose your real gift slowly, and you won’t even notice it.
............
You want everyone to know that you know.
You feel too unique, and act as a god’s gift to the world.
You think your friends are lucky to have you as a friend.
You think your parents are the luckiest to have you as their offspring.
You feel too good about yourself to notice the best are passing by.
You try to do things which are far above your real capacity.
You boast and say things which are miles away from reality.
You think others who are not in your liking list are all waste.
You think that everyone else is supposed to like you.
You think you are always right and all the others are wrong.
You always make fun of people who are not in your liking list.
You act unsteady with your emotions to confuse others.
You try to achieve a lot of things in a very short time span.
You lose your real gift slowly, and you won’t even notice it.
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Sunday 4 May 2008
Well done Sreesanth!
India won the third and final test match against South Africa. The best part of the match was the 38 runs at the tenth wicket stand. The 60 runs lead was the key factor in the victory, and all credit goes to sreesanth and Ishant Sharma. They did some brave batting and added few very valuable runs, in a difficult batting wicket.
It may not be possible all the time if Sreesanth did not practice some batting seriously. So sreesanth, please practice some batting. This is what I would like to request to you. I like to see you playing for India till you retire. There is always a tough competition for a place in the national team, and everyone knows that the north Indians always get prioritised, even though the selection criteria looks like it is zone-wise. It is true that Sreesanth is in the team because he is a fast medium bowler. But if you don't get wickets, you may be replaced by someone else like Praveen kumar, Zaheer khan, Irfan pathan , Vrv singh, Ishant sharma, Rudra singh, Munaf patel etc. In this situation, if you can do something with the bat also, it is always an advantage. All rounders are the ones our team wants all the time. The selectors and your captain could pick you over the next, just because you have an additional ability to score some valuable runs at the tail end. Also, when your run rates are bad, just concentrate on the basic stuff. No magic needed to control your bowling if you stick to the basics. Correct line, correct length. Avoid extras. I hope you will get better with your batting performances in the future and move up on the batting line up atleast till no.7 just after Dhoni. Also, careful when you field because it is easy to get injured and lose your fitness.
All the best Sreesanth !
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It may not be possible all the time if Sreesanth did not practice some batting seriously. So sreesanth, please practice some batting. This is what I would like to request to you. I like to see you playing for India till you retire. There is always a tough competition for a place in the national team, and everyone knows that the north Indians always get prioritised, even though the selection criteria looks like it is zone-wise. It is true that Sreesanth is in the team because he is a fast medium bowler. But if you don't get wickets, you may be replaced by someone else like Praveen kumar, Zaheer khan, Irfan pathan , Vrv singh, Ishant sharma, Rudra singh, Munaf patel etc. In this situation, if you can do something with the bat also, it is always an advantage. All rounders are the ones our team wants all the time. The selectors and your captain could pick you over the next, just because you have an additional ability to score some valuable runs at the tail end. Also, when your run rates are bad, just concentrate on the basic stuff. No magic needed to control your bowling if you stick to the basics. Correct line, correct length. Avoid extras. I hope you will get better with your batting performances in the future and move up on the batting line up atleast till no.7 just after Dhoni. Also, careful when you field because it is easy to get injured and lose your fitness.
All the best Sreesanth !
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Vishu 2008.
...
It was Vishu last week. Vishu is the astronomical new year day, the first day of the Malayalam month medam. It is not a religious day but it is identified with the hindu religious beliefs. The farmers in kerala commence paddy cultivation on vishu day because it is believed to be auspicious. I take these festivals as a great opportunity for family gathering, and always insisted that all the family members should make it for the day. Just a week ago, I could not see it’s happening. My sister, who is a fantastic cook and always the main chef of all the occasions, was holidaying outside England. Sisters in law were all busy and could not help. Sister in law no1 was busy with her ill child, no2 was too busy with her work and exams, no3 was heavily pregnant. Finally it was all up to me to do all the cooking and other preparations. I am just a below average cook, and had no confidence to do a vishu feast all by my own. The only help I had was my little girl, who was very excited about playing in the kitchen. I could have easily abandoned the idea of a vishu feast for this year. But I could not do that. For me it is not all about cooking and eating. There was a lot more to it than that. I wanted the family to be together for all the festivals and occasions of religious significance. I wanted all the children to celebrate all the occasions together with their cousins and recognise their brothers and sisters, recognise the relationship with each other, understand that they are closely related by blood. I wanted the children to learn that these type of occasions should be celebrated with all your family members. I wanted them to remember about this when they grow up, and I hope they also will make it a point to spend special occasions with all the family.
We did all the shopping from the asian grocery shop in the city of Preston, about forty minutes drive from home. I cooked a decent feast including two types of payasams. My younger sis in law came to help, and all others arrived as early as they could. We had a nice time, kids enjoyed their time with their cousins. We had a musical evening that day, my brother and kids sang few songs including two of them specially dedicated to me, in my favourite raag darbari and raag desh malhar.
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It was Vishu last week. Vishu is the astronomical new year day, the first day of the Malayalam month medam. It is not a religious day but it is identified with the hindu religious beliefs. The farmers in kerala commence paddy cultivation on vishu day because it is believed to be auspicious. I take these festivals as a great opportunity for family gathering, and always insisted that all the family members should make it for the day. Just a week ago, I could not see it’s happening. My sister, who is a fantastic cook and always the main chef of all the occasions, was holidaying outside England. Sisters in law were all busy and could not help. Sister in law no1 was busy with her ill child, no2 was too busy with her work and exams, no3 was heavily pregnant. Finally it was all up to me to do all the cooking and other preparations. I am just a below average cook, and had no confidence to do a vishu feast all by my own. The only help I had was my little girl, who was very excited about playing in the kitchen. I could have easily abandoned the idea of a vishu feast for this year. But I could not do that. For me it is not all about cooking and eating. There was a lot more to it than that. I wanted the family to be together for all the festivals and occasions of religious significance. I wanted all the children to celebrate all the occasions together with their cousins and recognise their brothers and sisters, recognise the relationship with each other, understand that they are closely related by blood. I wanted the children to learn that these type of occasions should be celebrated with all your family members. I wanted them to remember about this when they grow up, and I hope they also will make it a point to spend special occasions with all the family.
We did all the shopping from the asian grocery shop in the city of Preston, about forty minutes drive from home. I cooked a decent feast including two types of payasams. My younger sis in law came to help, and all others arrived as early as they could. We had a nice time, kids enjoyed their time with their cousins. We had a musical evening that day, my brother and kids sang few songs including two of them specially dedicated to me, in my favourite raag darbari and raag desh malhar.
......
Prayer.
God created us to have free will. God has given us mind to make decisions about everything. Many averted destruction by prayer. when you pray, God listens to your cries. When you don't pray, God feels left out of your life. When you pray consistently, you are affirming the prescence of God in your life.
Prayer gives you wisdom, courage and confidence.Prayer gives you power, spiritual energy and clear vision. To recognise and accept people, who is your own. When there is no prayer, no prescence of God, the "AHAM" takes charge of your conscience, which is the "individual self or the infinite and eternal I AM".
Who seeks, finds. who asks, recieves. who knocks, will get the door opened. Save us, Almighty, Give us courage, Give us the power to accept and love all around us !
Prayer gives you wisdom, courage and confidence.Prayer gives you power, spiritual energy and clear vision. To recognise and accept people, who is your own. When there is no prayer, no prescence of God, the "AHAM" takes charge of your conscience, which is the "individual self or the infinite and eternal I AM".
Who seeks, finds. who asks, recieves. who knocks, will get the door opened. Save us, Almighty, Give us courage, Give us the power to accept and love all around us !
Glass palaces crumble!
Admiration is the furthest thing from understanding.Last few days have been the days of realisation for me. I saw many glass palaces collapse. First one was like this - A message came through orkut, with a video clip attached. The video clip showed Malayalam actor mammootty hitting a fan while he was trying to touch him. This guy who was following mammootty for some time, touched on his shoulder twice and third time, as per the clip, mammootty hit him on his hand. This was published in all the news papers and thousands of people commented on it, all of them showing their anger at mammootty. Many of them were claiming that they were mammootty fans, and won’t be anymore. I could clearly see from their messages that the glass palaces of admiration for mammootty in their hearts had crumbled. There were loyal mammootty fans trying to justify him giving lot of excuses for his action. But nothing did help to change their minds.
Same way, yesterday, the Indian cricket team players, the millionaire players of Indian team pathetically collapsed in front of the young south African bowlers. The great players scored runs (first innings) which resemble the pincode of ahmedabad. 5,3,0,2,4,3 etc. The first innings only took less than 2 hours to finish. I could see tears in many eyes of the fans (including mine !) of the Indian team. The glass palace of admiration in their minds collapsed and buried their hopes.
I liked a writer, who had wonderful imagination and talent topped up with good language. I admired this writer for these reasons, and I read each line this person wrote with so much interest. I can even recite few poems this person wrote - by heart. It was by accident I happened to hear this person using absolute foul language. I was shocked first, and then gradually sank in to a pool of mixed feelings. It was a bitter, but very necessary realisation of the fact that all yellow and shiny aren’t gold. There can be a lot of excuses , but nothing in the world is going to give back the dignity this writer had in my mind.
So this way, there were only shattered glass palaces all around me last week. Now I am trying to be careful not to get hurt more with those sharp glass pieces.
My dear friends, don’t build any more glass palaces for anyone. Because, they always (easily) crumble, and then poke you, bleed you.
..........
Same way, yesterday, the Indian cricket team players, the millionaire players of Indian team pathetically collapsed in front of the young south African bowlers. The great players scored runs (first innings) which resemble the pincode of ahmedabad. 5,3,0,2,4,3 etc. The first innings only took less than 2 hours to finish. I could see tears in many eyes of the fans (including mine !) of the Indian team. The glass palace of admiration in their minds collapsed and buried their hopes.
I liked a writer, who had wonderful imagination and talent topped up with good language. I admired this writer for these reasons, and I read each line this person wrote with so much interest. I can even recite few poems this person wrote - by heart. It was by accident I happened to hear this person using absolute foul language. I was shocked first, and then gradually sank in to a pool of mixed feelings. It was a bitter, but very necessary realisation of the fact that all yellow and shiny aren’t gold. There can be a lot of excuses , but nothing in the world is going to give back the dignity this writer had in my mind.
So this way, there were only shattered glass palaces all around me last week. Now I am trying to be careful not to get hurt more with those sharp glass pieces.
My dear friends, don’t build any more glass palaces for anyone. Because, they always (easily) crumble, and then poke you, bleed you.
..........
My blog.
I started this blog this new year. Orkut and my uncle who is a journalist and editor of a leading Malayalam daily, introduced me to this wonderful world of blogs. I came to know from my uncle that the journalists read blogs in great deal [must be for inspiration! :)]. Also, there are many mainstream journalists who write their own blogs. Some business organisations use blogs to communicate with their costomers. Blogs give you a chance to look at things in different points of view, especially when people comment on them expressing their views and opinions. Many frustrated writers, who got rejected by publishers also resort to blogging.
It gets uneasy for the writers and readers when bloggers write about their personal life, and certain aspects of their professional life. If you are not careful, you will be in trouble. It gets even more serious when people misuse blogs to defame others. A lot of people read them now a days. It is gaining popularity very rapidly. Most of the writings are brilliant, brave and free. Sometimes I feel upset with myself while reading a blog, for not thinking about that subject before the blogger did. Writing is not an easy job. It is a difficult thing to do. Talent makes it easier for few people and language makes it easier for few people. There are people who really haven't got both of these necessary qualifications, still they write ! (guess who??? :). I write about hospital, nurses and patients because this is probably the only subject I can write about , without putting a lot of strain on my poor little brain ! :)
Reading and writing blogs proved beneficial in many ways.
# The easy to use blog software provides an excellant chance to reach to a larger audience.
# People around you look at you as an intelligent brainy person who writes! (:D)
# You can get the message across indirectly to people whom you can't sometimes keep contact ;-)
# You can improve your vocabulary status (eg :mine. - it was worse than this before !! ), learn lot of new words. For example, "mundane, discombobulated, commemorating, voguish, depict, blaspheming, incongruity, Dissonance, etc. Now I need to learn how to use them, and where to use them. In fact, I am desperate to use few words I learnt recently, but not getting a proper chance !
# emotional venting with immediate positive result is another advantage.
Someone told me recently that when you are emotionally motivated, or psychologically aroused, you will write better. We all know that emotions are the most powerful force to move us to action. Mostly the action depends upon the type and degree of the emotion. Imagination will be limited when you try towrite something due to an emotional push. A positive attitude towards life will be the best thing to keep you motivated in the right way.
I am hoping to write better, without any emotional motivation.
Thank you very much !
............
It gets uneasy for the writers and readers when bloggers write about their personal life, and certain aspects of their professional life. If you are not careful, you will be in trouble. It gets even more serious when people misuse blogs to defame others. A lot of people read them now a days. It is gaining popularity very rapidly. Most of the writings are brilliant, brave and free. Sometimes I feel upset with myself while reading a blog, for not thinking about that subject before the blogger did. Writing is not an easy job. It is a difficult thing to do. Talent makes it easier for few people and language makes it easier for few people. There are people who really haven't got both of these necessary qualifications, still they write ! (guess who??? :). I write about hospital, nurses and patients because this is probably the only subject I can write about , without putting a lot of strain on my poor little brain ! :)
Reading and writing blogs proved beneficial in many ways.
# The easy to use blog software provides an excellant chance to reach to a larger audience.
# People around you look at you as an intelligent brainy person who writes! (:D)
# You can get the message across indirectly to people whom you can't sometimes keep contact ;-)
# You can improve your vocabulary status (eg :mine. - it was worse than this before !! ), learn lot of new words. For example, "mundane, discombobulated, commemorating, voguish, depict, blaspheming, incongruity, Dissonance, etc. Now I need to learn how to use them, and where to use them. In fact, I am desperate to use few words I learnt recently, but not getting a proper chance !
# emotional venting with immediate positive result is another advantage.
Someone told me recently that when you are emotionally motivated, or psychologically aroused, you will write better. We all know that emotions are the most powerful force to move us to action. Mostly the action depends upon the type and degree of the emotion. Imagination will be limited when you try towrite something due to an emotional push. A positive attitude towards life will be the best thing to keep you motivated in the right way.
I am hoping to write better, without any emotional motivation.
Thank you very much !
............
The hybrid embryo.
..............
The scientists at Newcastle University in England have developed hybrid embryos for the first time in the UK. It has created a clash between the supporters like medical bodies, patient groups and opponents like the Catholic Church. The issue is put for open voting.
These embryos are hybrid. That means part human, part animal. First, the eggs from a cow’s ovaries are taken, all genetic factors removed. Then DNA derived from human skin cells is injected. The cytoplasmic embryos formed this way are 99%human. The embryos are three days old now. The aim is to extract stem cells from the embryos when they are 6 days and older, to study and understand wide range of diseases.
I hope the research continues, and hopefully the scientists are successful, so that many millions of patients worldwide will have proper treatments for their life threatening diseases. The university people say that the findings so far look promising. The legislation bill is due for debate in the parliament next month. It is only few cells, not as the opponents’ wild imagination of hybrid animal or something.
Scientists say they will not let these embryos to grow more than 14 days. Also, these embryos will never be implanted in a woman’s uterus. These embryos can be very helpful in finding effective treatment for diseases like diabetes, parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, stroke, motor neurone diseases and congenital muscular maldevelopements. For example, it will allow the scientists to generate nerve cells with the same genetic material as a patient with parkinson’s.
This will help them to study why the nerve cells die in parkinson’s.With all due respect to the Catholic Church and all the opponents of the research, I would like say, that if this helps to cure serious medical conditions of millions of people, we should never oppose it for religious or ethical reasons. Because saving human lives is never illegal, immoral, unethical, or irreligious.
The scientists at Newcastle University in England have developed hybrid embryos for the first time in the UK. It has created a clash between the supporters like medical bodies, patient groups and opponents like the Catholic Church. The issue is put for open voting.
These embryos are hybrid. That means part human, part animal. First, the eggs from a cow’s ovaries are taken, all genetic factors removed. Then DNA derived from human skin cells is injected. The cytoplasmic embryos formed this way are 99%human. The embryos are three days old now. The aim is to extract stem cells from the embryos when they are 6 days and older, to study and understand wide range of diseases.
I hope the research continues, and hopefully the scientists are successful, so that many millions of patients worldwide will have proper treatments for their life threatening diseases. The university people say that the findings so far look promising. The legislation bill is due for debate in the parliament next month. It is only few cells, not as the opponents’ wild imagination of hybrid animal or something.
Scientists say they will not let these embryos to grow more than 14 days. Also, these embryos will never be implanted in a woman’s uterus. These embryos can be very helpful in finding effective treatment for diseases like diabetes, parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, stroke, motor neurone diseases and congenital muscular maldevelopements. For example, it will allow the scientists to generate nerve cells with the same genetic material as a patient with parkinson’s.
This will help them to study why the nerve cells die in parkinson’s.With all due respect to the Catholic Church and all the opponents of the research, I would like say, that if this helps to cure serious medical conditions of millions of people, we should never oppose it for religious or ethical reasons. Because saving human lives is never illegal, immoral, unethical, or irreligious.
1st test South Africa Vs India 26/3/08
After the eventful and highly successful tour of Australia, India is playing against South africa in their own soil. After beating the so called "best team" in the world, Indian players are highly confident, looking all ready to go for it. Team selection is over, and the batting line up looks the best in the world. To much of my disappointment, Gautham gambhir was dropped out of the side, to give Wasim jaffer "another chance". Yuvraj singh is very inconsistent, still he is in the team, selectors still hoping he may click. I am very happy to see Virender sehwag back in the team. So it is going to be Sehwag and Wasim opening the batting, and Dravid will come in as third batsman. Then it is Sachin, Laxman, and Ganguly. Dhoni makes the lower middle order strongest in the world, with some handy shots from Harbhajan. I am hoping India will win the toss and choose to bat, and first innings declaration with 600 runs. Bowling line up is not as good as it was for the ODIs, Ishant sharma is injured, Praveen kumar is rested. Sreesanth and Irfan pathan are out of form. Where as for South Africa, the pacers are going to take charge of the attack. As the Indian conditions always favoured spin bowling, let us hope that skipper Kumble and the king Singh will do the job for us. If it is decided to play with 3 spinners, Murali Karthik is going to be the third spinner of choice, I truly hope he is economical, if no wicket taker. I put my money on India, fingers crossed, we will be able to keep our momentum of winning.
Mera Bharath Mahan !
Mera Bharath Mahan !
Patience !
....
This time I am writing about patients. Nurses come across different kinds of people with different kinds of illnesses on a daily basis. It says that majority of nurses usually have a dominating sort of character on everyone around her because all she sees all the time is people who want "her to tell them what to do". If you look at many incidents happen in a nurses daily work life, most of it is very humourous.
The patient is the most important person in the hospital.
The patient is always right.
Patients and patience are the most related words in hospitals.
All the patients are not annoying. For example, the unconscious ones aren't !
The patient is fully conscious and oriented if he says that you are a very good nurse.
Careful when you shout out "big breaths" when examining a deaf female patient. (she may answer "they used to be bigger, love !)
The patient is confused if he says that your colleague is a very good nurse.
Don't believe when a patient says he has chest pain, looking at your chest.
When a patient says he has pain where ever he touches, then he has a broken finger.
The patient should not be given the right to choose his nurse.
Don't let the patient fall from bed, it is too much paper work.
patient asks " am I going to die?" the worst possible answer is "eventually everyone does !"
patient asks "will I be able to play piano after my operation? " before answering him "yes", make sure that he already knows to play piano.
In an accident spot, treat the unconcious patients first than one cries out loud. Because he can atleast cry !!
Always look for the best side of a patient. Which is always the backside !
A good patient deserves as much praise as a good doctor does.
Always make sure to use the hearing aid on a deaf male patient before you ask him "how is your angina?" (or else he may answer ("why? It is a female part" !)
Don't ask a patient "where are you now?" to assess his orientation. Most of the time the answer will be "I am right here love."
Thank you.
This time I am writing about patients. Nurses come across different kinds of people with different kinds of illnesses on a daily basis. It says that majority of nurses usually have a dominating sort of character on everyone around her because all she sees all the time is people who want "her to tell them what to do". If you look at many incidents happen in a nurses daily work life, most of it is very humourous.
The patient is the most important person in the hospital.
The patient is always right.
Patients and patience are the most related words in hospitals.
All the patients are not annoying. For example, the unconscious ones aren't !
The patient is fully conscious and oriented if he says that you are a very good nurse.
Careful when you shout out "big breaths" when examining a deaf female patient. (she may answer "they used to be bigger, love !)
The patient is confused if he says that your colleague is a very good nurse.
Don't believe when a patient says he has chest pain, looking at your chest.
When a patient says he has pain where ever he touches, then he has a broken finger.
The patient should not be given the right to choose his nurse.
Don't let the patient fall from bed, it is too much paper work.
patient asks " am I going to die?" the worst possible answer is "eventually everyone does !"
patient asks "will I be able to play piano after my operation? " before answering him "yes", make sure that he already knows to play piano.
In an accident spot, treat the unconcious patients first than one cries out loud. Because he can atleast cry !!
Always look for the best side of a patient. Which is always the backside !
A good patient deserves as much praise as a good doctor does.
Always make sure to use the hearing aid on a deaf male patient before you ask him "how is your angina?" (or else he may answer ("why? It is a female part" !)
Don't ask a patient "where are you now?" to assess his orientation. Most of the time the answer will be "I am right here love."
Thank you.
Essential ; for a nurse!
It is always busy at work. Not only the ICU, but also in the A&E, theatres, OPDs and wards. Cardiac surgery ICU is a place where it can be horrendous at times. When I go for morning shifts, I remember getting in there at 8’o clock, time flies like anything and in no time it is 4’o clock, home time. It is very tiring, but it is extremely satisfying. There are times when I want to continue working even after my duty time is over. I enjoy working in the cardiac intensive care. The nurses in my area are lucky to have all the latest electronic equipments for their use. It makes life easier. ICU demands much more skills than basic nursing care. It is a place where there is a lot of tension and stress in the air. Equally for the staff, patients and their families. In my unit, I have a lot of nice people as my colleagues. I should say almost all of them are very friendly. They help each other, crack jokes, and laugh a lot, even though it is extremely busy. There are people who try to sail through the shift without doing much work, but they are very very few in numbers. I am happy and lucky to be in a place I love. I am lucky to have a boss who is understanding and very impartial. This is the best place in the world to work. There is a lot of work, a lot of paperwork, lot of responsibilities, lots of communication to be done, still this is the best place to work.Although all is well with me, in general about nurses, I think when they advertise for posts, there are some special qualifications they should ask for. I will list them down.
· She should be able to walk (fast) at least ten miles every day , nonstop, still should not complain or stop tired.
· She should be able to carry a bladder with a capacity of minimum ten litres, and manage it to hold it inside, intact, a whole shift.
· Her stomach should be tolerant to stay empty, at least from morning till evening.
· She should be steady on her feet even after doing a busy night shift, then not sleeping whole day(kids!), and then come for night shift the next day.
· She should be able to do at least five things at a time.
· She should be able to tell the time only in 24hour clock.
· She should be able to tell about all medicines, better than a pharmacist.
· She should not get excited about any blood loss, unless and until it’s her own.
· She should not fall asleep in the hospital cafe after her lunch break (which they always tend to do) (if at all they get a lunch break!!)·
She should not avoid unhealthy looking shoppers at the mall, for the fear that if they collapse near her, she will have to resuscitate!
· She should not comment on people’s veins in their arms while shopping.
· She should listen patiently when complete strangers talk about their aches and pains.
· She should be willing to celebrate all holidays and special occasions with her friends. (But at work!)
· She should not get angry when the TV soaps show nurses doing nothing other than flirting with doctors.
· She should not keep a phone with a caller ID display , because there is a chance that she may not pick it up the call if it is from work, asking her to come for work.
· She should not bet on anything other than someone’s alcohol level (Which they always do perfectly!)
· She should be willing to expose herself to rare, exotic bugs.
· She should not eat her sandwiches at the dead patient’s bedside. (Which they most of the time do, because that is when they get a free minute !)
· She should have big pockets for her uniform ( To carry spare medicines, tapes, stickers, clamps, scissors, phone, pens, calculator, wedding ring, watch etc.)· She should be able to take everything in good humour. (Eventually !)
· She should be able to reassure patients that all bleeding stops. (Again, eventually!!)
· She should not believe in the “rumour” that patient survives, whatever you do to them.
· She should not tell her co-worker’s name to a confused patient, and ask him to call her if needed any help.
· She should not call the “mostly well” men’s ward a hazardous place.
· She should not ask the doctors to write their orders legibly or clean up their mess.
· She should not use 30ml medicine cup for a “shotglass.”
· Finally, she should not identify it to the work place , when watching movies with “hell” scenes.
jokes courtsey - my friend david shay.
· She should be able to walk (fast) at least ten miles every day , nonstop, still should not complain or stop tired.
· She should be able to carry a bladder with a capacity of minimum ten litres, and manage it to hold it inside, intact, a whole shift.
· Her stomach should be tolerant to stay empty, at least from morning till evening.
· She should be steady on her feet even after doing a busy night shift, then not sleeping whole day(kids!), and then come for night shift the next day.
· She should be able to do at least five things at a time.
· She should be able to tell the time only in 24hour clock.
· She should be able to tell about all medicines, better than a pharmacist.
· She should not get excited about any blood loss, unless and until it’s her own.
· She should not fall asleep in the hospital cafe after her lunch break (which they always tend to do) (if at all they get a lunch break!!)·
She should not avoid unhealthy looking shoppers at the mall, for the fear that if they collapse near her, she will have to resuscitate!
· She should not comment on people’s veins in their arms while shopping.
· She should listen patiently when complete strangers talk about their aches and pains.
· She should be willing to celebrate all holidays and special occasions with her friends. (But at work!)
· She should not get angry when the TV soaps show nurses doing nothing other than flirting with doctors.
· She should not keep a phone with a caller ID display , because there is a chance that she may not pick it up the call if it is from work, asking her to come for work.
· She should not bet on anything other than someone’s alcohol level (Which they always do perfectly!)
· She should be willing to expose herself to rare, exotic bugs.
· She should not eat her sandwiches at the dead patient’s bedside. (Which they most of the time do, because that is when they get a free minute !)
· She should have big pockets for her uniform ( To carry spare medicines, tapes, stickers, clamps, scissors, phone, pens, calculator, wedding ring, watch etc.)· She should be able to take everything in good humour. (Eventually !)
· She should be able to reassure patients that all bleeding stops. (Again, eventually!!)
· She should not believe in the “rumour” that patient survives, whatever you do to them.
· She should not tell her co-worker’s name to a confused patient, and ask him to call her if needed any help.
· She should not call the “mostly well” men’s ward a hazardous place.
· She should not ask the doctors to write their orders legibly or clean up their mess.
· She should not use 30ml medicine cup for a “shotglass.”
· Finally, she should not identify it to the work place , when watching movies with “hell” scenes.
jokes courtsey - my friend david shay.
The Angel!
Few days ago my cousin pushpa told me that Maluamma is seriously ill. Maluamma didn't want to go to hospital, and nobody was interested as well. I was furious hearing this, I was literally barking over the phone. Anyway, they took her to hospital. At least they can help her to die peacefully without pain. I was thinking about her, and I will share my thoughts with you.This is maluamma's story, obviously my side of the story, my point of view…
Maluamma is our distant relative. Older than my mother, we all were born in front of her. For some reason she remained unmarried, and ended up living with her brother, in their maternal family home. For them she was like a servant who doesn't need to be paid. She did all the household chores, and looked after all the children. Being the family home, all the relatives and us children used to go there for holidays and special occasions. Maluamma was very simple, but had elegant looks, with long thick hair. We all were jealous of her hair. Like many women of her generation, she only wore traditional whites. everyday evening, she went to the temple nearby to our house. When she walked down the steps of the temple, the red horizon in the background, she looked like the goddess herself !!! I think, in her young age, she must have been prettier than any of us in the new generation.
Maluamma could read and write, and showed interest to know what is happening in the outside world. I am saying this because she listened to the radio and TV, read news papers whenever she got them in her hand. She read original first editions of marthandavarma , and indulekha. Her nephews and nieces including me got her books from the local library. Maluamma even read our school text books!!! Whenever we are home, I went with her to the temple, and talked to her all the way through. In fact it was a monologue, since only thing maluamma did was listen all, and smile in amusement. She never joked about anything, but she did enjoy humour. She never complained about anything, never demanded anything. In fact, she had a name which many of us didn't know. After asking her many many times about her history, she said her name was 'karthyayani', she was so shy. I was forcing her to tell me about her, mainly to know why she didn't get married. Since her being so good looking, I had a strong doubt that she was a victim of a love failure. I wondered whether she ever had any dreams like any human being would ever have had…I refused to accept her silence and refused to believe that she had no desires...I encouraged her to talk, but all she gave me was a smile, I often got angry and walked away. It looked like she enjoyed my fights with her. Still a mystery, she left her mind for us to read, left all for our imagination. She used to pray for hours, I wonder what was she asking for !! She talked very very less, and cried watching movies and soaps on TV.
For me maluamma was somebody who always showed a lot of love and care towards us children. It could have been sympathy too. In different ways our situations were more or less the same. Loosing parents early in life was a big blow to us, and more than that, living under somebody’s kindness was torturous. Even though she never said it, I was special for her. When she looked at me , I could see a small drop of tear in her eyes all the time. I could sense it and I sort of 'liked it'. There was a time in our life when any sort of support was welcomed, and how much ever we get, wasn't enough. I was in a sort of atmosphere where everybody tried to control us, put ideas in to our head. There was no room for independent thinking, till l decided to take things in my hand, and politely refused to take advices. Maluamma watched everything silently, I could see the pain and frustration of helplessness in her eyes.I used to call her malootty, darling, sweetheart, Cinderella, madhubala, etc etc… she used to smile shyly in response.
Every time when I went home for holidays, she loved to do my hair, she made the paste with herbs and leaves and washed my hair with it. It was a replacement of shampoo they used in the village. She always looked for something to do to help me. When maluamma was free in the afternoons, I used to sleep on her lap, she massaged my head, and she did it with a lot of passion, probably the best thing she ever liked to do. I felt that she worked harder in the kitchen to do more delicious food for us when we were home. Maluamma never came to the dining room, but I knew that she is watching me from there. I made good effort to eat all the food she gave me and praised her culinary skills , and I knew that she is overjoyed with my comments. Appreciation was something nobody thought necessary for maluamma. I tried to advice my cousins to behave well with her, which always ended up as me fighting with them. To give her some fresh air outside the kitchen, I used to call her to help me with small jobs, but later on I realised that this act of mine is making her stretch more to complete her work. Many times, I consciously tried to joke and make her laugh. I think she knew that and co - operated very well. It took so little to make her happy. When I was abroad, I wrote her 2-3 letters, sent her money. she never replied, but I am sure she must have read them many times. In fact, Maluamma also consciously tried to fill the gap our mother left in our lives and always tried to do everything our mother could have done for us.
Our home in Malabar was an old traditional Hindu family home, where the women were not given many rights. The decisions in the house were taken by the men and all the others silently followed it. Maluamma was scared to sit even in front of her nephews. She never came in front of the guests. When they partitioned the property, maluamma got a useless piece of land, which as a reversal of fortune, became an expensive plot, with new diversion of national highway on one side. Maluamma’s brother was a businessman, and one day he came to Maluamma and asked her to sell that property, so that he can invest it in his business. His argument was that it is being wasted, what is she going to do with it... she doesn’t need any money, doesn’t have any family.. etc. But to everybody’s surprise, maluamma totally refused to sell that land. She courageously stood up and clearly told her brother that till I die, nobody is touching it. Now when I am thinking about it, I feel that maluamma must have kept that as a security, she understood that that piece of land is the reason why her selfish brother is allowing her to stay in that house.
Whenever I am home, before I wake up in the morning, maluamma brought me cup of tea to my bedroom. I liked it, but didn’t like the fact that maluamma is walking up and down with teacups for everyone like a hotel waitress. I tried to make her understand, that she is not a servant. She does not have to do that. I told her that if anybody wants anything, they can go and get it from the kitchen themselves. Maluamma silently stood and listened to everything I said and then she asked me to drink the tea and give her the cup... I used to get frustrated by her attitude. In the end, I decided to give up on this, thinking that this is her fate. But when I look back now, I understand that she wanted all of us to feel royal , to enjoy maximum comfort when we are home. In her own way, she tried to make our time in the house the most enjoyable one. May be she wanted us always come back home whenever we had holidays........
When we all are on holidays at home, we used to have big serious games of carom board. Maluamma watched us playing and never participated. But once I forced maluamma to play with us. She refused at first, then she agreed and sat opposite to me. I started explaining her about the game. I thought that maluamma doesn’t know the game, and I was just involving her to make her feel accepted. As far as the game is concerned, I was thinking that I won’t need anybody’s help because I believed myself as great player. The game started and maluamma almost emptied the board in less than three minutes in one go !! we all ”champion players” were in shock !
Once, all the family went for a tour to ootty, the hill station in southern India. We hired a bus, packed loads of food, well planned to have a lot of fun. We took maluamma too with us. Usually she used to stay back looking after the house, cows, chickens etc. I was happy that she will get a break from her usual run. But during the trip, instead of enjoying , she again got busy with helping others and looking after children, packing , unpacking, cleaning, clearing etc..etc... because of that, I got angry and upset with her that day, and I didn’t eat my food, ignored her till we got back. Even though I didn’t talk to her, I secretly observed her facial expression to see whether she is upset because I threw my food away. But to my disappointment, her expression and mood never changed. I still like to believe that she felt some amount of pain because I was starving. That day I also understood that she is intelligent as well, because she showed me that by starving, I can’t win. I think if she had fallen for my starving idea, I would have repeated it many times. Because it didn’t work, I never repeated it again. Even though she was an uneducated village woman, she was clever enough to know that these kind of behaviour should not be encouraged. In a way, she played mind games with me and the world all the time.
Few times I tried to help in the kitchen, but Maluamma did not encourage it, I have this mischievous thought in my mind that my presence made her nervous!! Our cousins used to tease us saying "malu and molu".The only apparent evidence I had, for argument sake that she had a soft corner towards me, is that in her small room near the kitchen, she had my picture with my family pasted on the wall near her bed.Years later, when we took my child home, she won’t keep the child down, carried her all the time, and people said "vasu on maluamma's head, vasu's child on maluamma's lap…"
Whenever we leave after our holidays, she wouldn’t come to say bye to me , she acted busy and more vigorously indulged herself in washing and cleaning , refusing an eye contact with me. I didn’t ask her to say bye to me, I thought silently leaving will be the kind act towards her, rather than forcing her to show her emotions in public, which she never liked to do. I always had this longing for her ‘ special ‘affection. so Inside my mind , secretly I wished if she had cried because I am leaving...when we left India for good, I asked her to bless the child, she finally cried with her mouth covered with the tip of her sari.
Whenever anybody from the family was ill or in the hospital for any reason, maluamma was the one who took care of them. Regardless of anything, she showed commitment and dedication and a lot of sympathy towards them. Whenever a new child is born, maluamma was the one to do everything for it. It was like the people there thought that she is supposed to do it. It always annoyed me that nobody considered it as a favour or help. I am much more annoyed and upset now because maluamma is ill and nobody is even bothered...Now she is dying, and I feel guilty, thinking that I should have done something more for her. My husband is saying "U worry unnecessarily for everything, hope u have not passed this nature on to your daughter". Maluamma certainly deserved more. Like all, I was selfish too. I also conveniently avoided her and got busy with my own life. My heart is bleeding thinking that she may have expected some more kindness from me.... Now sitting here, the only thing I can do is to pray for her. I have asked pushpa to tell her that I am thinking about her. May be, she must have been believing it so; all these years…..
Maluamma is our distant relative. Older than my mother, we all were born in front of her. For some reason she remained unmarried, and ended up living with her brother, in their maternal family home. For them she was like a servant who doesn't need to be paid. She did all the household chores, and looked after all the children. Being the family home, all the relatives and us children used to go there for holidays and special occasions. Maluamma was very simple, but had elegant looks, with long thick hair. We all were jealous of her hair. Like many women of her generation, she only wore traditional whites. everyday evening, she went to the temple nearby to our house. When she walked down the steps of the temple, the red horizon in the background, she looked like the goddess herself !!! I think, in her young age, she must have been prettier than any of us in the new generation.
Maluamma could read and write, and showed interest to know what is happening in the outside world. I am saying this because she listened to the radio and TV, read news papers whenever she got them in her hand. She read original first editions of marthandavarma , and indulekha. Her nephews and nieces including me got her books from the local library. Maluamma even read our school text books!!! Whenever we are home, I went with her to the temple, and talked to her all the way through. In fact it was a monologue, since only thing maluamma did was listen all, and smile in amusement. She never joked about anything, but she did enjoy humour. She never complained about anything, never demanded anything. In fact, she had a name which many of us didn't know. After asking her many many times about her history, she said her name was 'karthyayani', she was so shy. I was forcing her to tell me about her, mainly to know why she didn't get married. Since her being so good looking, I had a strong doubt that she was a victim of a love failure. I wondered whether she ever had any dreams like any human being would ever have had…I refused to accept her silence and refused to believe that she had no desires...I encouraged her to talk, but all she gave me was a smile, I often got angry and walked away. It looked like she enjoyed my fights with her. Still a mystery, she left her mind for us to read, left all for our imagination. She used to pray for hours, I wonder what was she asking for !! She talked very very less, and cried watching movies and soaps on TV.
For me maluamma was somebody who always showed a lot of love and care towards us children. It could have been sympathy too. In different ways our situations were more or less the same. Loosing parents early in life was a big blow to us, and more than that, living under somebody’s kindness was torturous. Even though she never said it, I was special for her. When she looked at me , I could see a small drop of tear in her eyes all the time. I could sense it and I sort of 'liked it'. There was a time in our life when any sort of support was welcomed, and how much ever we get, wasn't enough. I was in a sort of atmosphere where everybody tried to control us, put ideas in to our head. There was no room for independent thinking, till l decided to take things in my hand, and politely refused to take advices. Maluamma watched everything silently, I could see the pain and frustration of helplessness in her eyes.I used to call her malootty, darling, sweetheart, Cinderella, madhubala, etc etc… she used to smile shyly in response.
Every time when I went home for holidays, she loved to do my hair, she made the paste with herbs and leaves and washed my hair with it. It was a replacement of shampoo they used in the village. She always looked for something to do to help me. When maluamma was free in the afternoons, I used to sleep on her lap, she massaged my head, and she did it with a lot of passion, probably the best thing she ever liked to do. I felt that she worked harder in the kitchen to do more delicious food for us when we were home. Maluamma never came to the dining room, but I knew that she is watching me from there. I made good effort to eat all the food she gave me and praised her culinary skills , and I knew that she is overjoyed with my comments. Appreciation was something nobody thought necessary for maluamma. I tried to advice my cousins to behave well with her, which always ended up as me fighting with them. To give her some fresh air outside the kitchen, I used to call her to help me with small jobs, but later on I realised that this act of mine is making her stretch more to complete her work. Many times, I consciously tried to joke and make her laugh. I think she knew that and co - operated very well. It took so little to make her happy. When I was abroad, I wrote her 2-3 letters, sent her money. she never replied, but I am sure she must have read them many times. In fact, Maluamma also consciously tried to fill the gap our mother left in our lives and always tried to do everything our mother could have done for us.
Our home in Malabar was an old traditional Hindu family home, where the women were not given many rights. The decisions in the house were taken by the men and all the others silently followed it. Maluamma was scared to sit even in front of her nephews. She never came in front of the guests. When they partitioned the property, maluamma got a useless piece of land, which as a reversal of fortune, became an expensive plot, with new diversion of national highway on one side. Maluamma’s brother was a businessman, and one day he came to Maluamma and asked her to sell that property, so that he can invest it in his business. His argument was that it is being wasted, what is she going to do with it... she doesn’t need any money, doesn’t have any family.. etc. But to everybody’s surprise, maluamma totally refused to sell that land. She courageously stood up and clearly told her brother that till I die, nobody is touching it. Now when I am thinking about it, I feel that maluamma must have kept that as a security, she understood that that piece of land is the reason why her selfish brother is allowing her to stay in that house.
Whenever I am home, before I wake up in the morning, maluamma brought me cup of tea to my bedroom. I liked it, but didn’t like the fact that maluamma is walking up and down with teacups for everyone like a hotel waitress. I tried to make her understand, that she is not a servant. She does not have to do that. I told her that if anybody wants anything, they can go and get it from the kitchen themselves. Maluamma silently stood and listened to everything I said and then she asked me to drink the tea and give her the cup... I used to get frustrated by her attitude. In the end, I decided to give up on this, thinking that this is her fate. But when I look back now, I understand that she wanted all of us to feel royal , to enjoy maximum comfort when we are home. In her own way, she tried to make our time in the house the most enjoyable one. May be she wanted us always come back home whenever we had holidays........
When we all are on holidays at home, we used to have big serious games of carom board. Maluamma watched us playing and never participated. But once I forced maluamma to play with us. She refused at first, then she agreed and sat opposite to me. I started explaining her about the game. I thought that maluamma doesn’t know the game, and I was just involving her to make her feel accepted. As far as the game is concerned, I was thinking that I won’t need anybody’s help because I believed myself as great player. The game started and maluamma almost emptied the board in less than three minutes in one go !! we all ”champion players” were in shock !
Once, all the family went for a tour to ootty, the hill station in southern India. We hired a bus, packed loads of food, well planned to have a lot of fun. We took maluamma too with us. Usually she used to stay back looking after the house, cows, chickens etc. I was happy that she will get a break from her usual run. But during the trip, instead of enjoying , she again got busy with helping others and looking after children, packing , unpacking, cleaning, clearing etc..etc... because of that, I got angry and upset with her that day, and I didn’t eat my food, ignored her till we got back. Even though I didn’t talk to her, I secretly observed her facial expression to see whether she is upset because I threw my food away. But to my disappointment, her expression and mood never changed. I still like to believe that she felt some amount of pain because I was starving. That day I also understood that she is intelligent as well, because she showed me that by starving, I can’t win. I think if she had fallen for my starving idea, I would have repeated it many times. Because it didn’t work, I never repeated it again. Even though she was an uneducated village woman, she was clever enough to know that these kind of behaviour should not be encouraged. In a way, she played mind games with me and the world all the time.
Few times I tried to help in the kitchen, but Maluamma did not encourage it, I have this mischievous thought in my mind that my presence made her nervous!! Our cousins used to tease us saying "malu and molu".The only apparent evidence I had, for argument sake that she had a soft corner towards me, is that in her small room near the kitchen, she had my picture with my family pasted on the wall near her bed.Years later, when we took my child home, she won’t keep the child down, carried her all the time, and people said "vasu on maluamma's head, vasu's child on maluamma's lap…"
Whenever we leave after our holidays, she wouldn’t come to say bye to me , she acted busy and more vigorously indulged herself in washing and cleaning , refusing an eye contact with me. I didn’t ask her to say bye to me, I thought silently leaving will be the kind act towards her, rather than forcing her to show her emotions in public, which she never liked to do. I always had this longing for her ‘ special ‘affection. so Inside my mind , secretly I wished if she had cried because I am leaving...when we left India for good, I asked her to bless the child, she finally cried with her mouth covered with the tip of her sari.
Whenever anybody from the family was ill or in the hospital for any reason, maluamma was the one who took care of them. Regardless of anything, she showed commitment and dedication and a lot of sympathy towards them. Whenever a new child is born, maluamma was the one to do everything for it. It was like the people there thought that she is supposed to do it. It always annoyed me that nobody considered it as a favour or help. I am much more annoyed and upset now because maluamma is ill and nobody is even bothered...Now she is dying, and I feel guilty, thinking that I should have done something more for her. My husband is saying "U worry unnecessarily for everything, hope u have not passed this nature on to your daughter". Maluamma certainly deserved more. Like all, I was selfish too. I also conveniently avoided her and got busy with my own life. My heart is bleeding thinking that she may have expected some more kindness from me.... Now sitting here, the only thing I can do is to pray for her. I have asked pushpa to tell her that I am thinking about her. May be, she must have been believing it so; all these years…..
My favourite writer.
I am a strong fan of KAMALA DAS, a famous writer and a renowned poet of India. I like her writing because I think more than a “writer” who is a woman, she is a honest woman who can write. Kamala das is a brave writer, with a pure language. Her writing has been a point of reference for everybody. Kamala das’s poems are taught in universities on India and many western countries.Although one might feel that Kamala das is a feminist, she w as not involved in any kind of feminist activities, or labelled herself as a feminist. Kamala das wrote about topics which the other writers or the society scared to touch.Kamala das says, A restrained love seems to be no love at all; only a total immersion in love can do justice to this experience. About women, she urges them to give the man what makes them women. Kamala das had clear views and opinions about love, women hood and sexuality. As a writer she found huge potential in human sensuality.
Kamala das is known as madhavikkutty in Malayalam. Her famous novels are·
Ente Katha·
Dayarikkurippukal·
Neypayasam· Alphabet of lust (English)·
Padmavati the harlot and other stories (short stories)
Her collection of poems are·
Summer in bethlahem·
The anamalai poems·
The descendants·
The old play house and other poems·
Only the soul knows how to sing.
Kamala das is known as madhavikkutty in Malayalam. Her famous novels are·
Ente Katha·
Dayarikkurippukal·
Neypayasam· Alphabet of lust (English)·
Padmavati the harlot and other stories (short stories)
Her collection of poems are·
Summer in bethlahem·
The anamalai poems·
The descendants·
The old play house and other poems·
Only the soul knows how to sing.
A wonderful movie !
I was watching this tamil movie called “MOZHI” I have seen this movie many times before. It is a first class movie, a wonderful film, with a best story and it is very well directed. Mozhi is different from a typical tamil film, and its success proves that the audience are grown to a higher level in their taste.
The story is about a deaf and dumb girl, acted by Jothika. Though she is physically challenged, she is brave, positive, independent and does not want any sympathy from anyone. This is what makes the movie different because usually in our movies the physically challenged people are sad, tearjerkers. I was a little disappointed by Jothika’s not-up-to-the mark performance, but the movie in whole was a very refreshing experience. Also, this film proved that Prithviraj can act!! ;-).
This film also had Prakash raj’s hilarious comedy scenes. He is so natural, serious and spontaneous in his funny scenes. The supporting actors also have done their work superbly, making it a total team work. The editing could have been a bit more sharp, but even though the film is about a very sensitive and serious issue, it has been presented in a beautiful, interesting way and the movie moves fast in pace. The songs are super hit and they are picturised in India and exotic Mauritius. For me the movie’s best part was dialogues, which were very well crafted. It was Jothika’s last movie, as she retired from films.
I recommend this film to all my friends and readers, it is well worth your money
The story is about a deaf and dumb girl, acted by Jothika. Though she is physically challenged, she is brave, positive, independent and does not want any sympathy from anyone. This is what makes the movie different because usually in our movies the physically challenged people are sad, tearjerkers. I was a little disappointed by Jothika’s not-up-to-the mark performance, but the movie in whole was a very refreshing experience. Also, this film proved that Prithviraj can act!! ;-).
This film also had Prakash raj’s hilarious comedy scenes. He is so natural, serious and spontaneous in his funny scenes. The supporting actors also have done their work superbly, making it a total team work. The editing could have been a bit more sharp, but even though the film is about a very sensitive and serious issue, it has been presented in a beautiful, interesting way and the movie moves fast in pace. The songs are super hit and they are picturised in India and exotic Mauritius. For me the movie’s best part was dialogues, which were very well crafted. It was Jothika’s last movie, as she retired from films.
I recommend this film to all my friends and readers, it is well worth your money
Don't we need our nurses?
Nursing is a noble profession. I deeply and strongly hate people who eye nurses with a supercilious air. I can promise a true fight if I hear anyone talk about nurses without due respect. Nurses work hard, in fact they overwork, underpaid and always undervalued. Nurses run hospital, in the clinical patient care area and in the non-clinical management area. In many areas of the hospital, nurses deal with life threatening emergencies, and play a very important part in the recovery and treatment.In India, even lower middleclass people look at nurses with crossed eye. Things are improved in the recent years, still they don't get the respect a teacher or a bank employee gets. Nurses are valued more in western countries. They are paid well. Kerala exports highest number of nurses to gulf and other foreign countries, including USA, UK, and other European and gulf countries. Being a developing country, can India tolerate this drain of qualified, experienced nurses? Shouldn’t the government try to keep them in here, by providing them right kind of remuneration?
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