Essential ; for a nurse!

It is always busy at work. Not only the ICU, but also in the A&E, theatres, OPDs and wards. Cardiac surgery ICU is a place where it can be horrendous at times. When I go for morning shifts, I remember getting in there at 8’o clock, time flies like anything and in no time it is 4’o clock, home time. It is very tiring, but it is extremely satisfying. There are times when I want to continue working even after my duty time is over. I enjoy working in the cardiac intensive care. The nurses in my area are lucky to have all the latest electronic equipments for their use. It makes life easier. ICU demands much more skills than basic nursing care. It is a place where there is a lot of tension and stress in the air. Equally for the staff, patients and their families. In my unit, I have a lot of nice people as my colleagues. I should say almost all of them are very friendly. They help each other, crack jokes, and laugh a lot, even though it is extremely busy. There are people who try to sail through the shift without doing much work, but they are very very few in numbers. I am happy and lucky to be in a place I love. I am lucky to have a boss who is understanding and very impartial. This is the best place in the world to work. There is a lot of work, a lot of paperwork, lot of responsibilities, lots of communication to be done, still this is the best place to work.Although all is well with me, in general about nurses, I think when they advertise for posts, there are some special qualifications they should ask for. I will list them down.


· She should be able to walk (fast) at least ten miles every day , nonstop, still should not complain or stop tired.
· She should be able to carry a bladder with a capacity of minimum ten litres, and manage it to hold it inside, intact, a whole shift.
· Her stomach should be tolerant to stay empty, at least from morning till evening.
· She should be steady on her feet even after doing a busy night shift, then not sleeping whole day(kids!), and then come for night shift the next day.
· She should be able to do at least five things at a time.
· She should be able to tell the time only in 24hour clock.
· She should be able to tell about all medicines, better than a pharmacist.
· She should not get excited about any blood loss, unless and until it’s her own.
· She should not fall asleep in the hospital cafe after her lunch break (which they always tend to do) (if at all they get a lunch break!!)·
She should not avoid unhealthy looking shoppers at the mall, for the fear that if they collapse near her, she will have to resuscitate!
· She should not comment on people’s veins in their arms while shopping.
· She should listen patiently when complete strangers talk about their aches and pains.
· She should be willing to celebrate all holidays and special occasions with her friends. (But at work!)
· She should not get angry when the TV soaps show nurses doing nothing other than flirting with doctors.
· She should not keep a phone with a caller ID display , because there is a chance that she may not pick it up the call if it is from work, asking her to come for work.
· She should not bet on anything other than someone’s alcohol level (Which they always do perfectly!)
· She should be willing to expose herself to rare, exotic bugs.
· She should not eat her sandwiches at the dead patient’s bedside. (Which they most of the time do, because that is when they get a free minute !)
· She should have big pockets for her uniform ( To carry spare medicines, tapes, stickers, clamps, scissors, phone, pens, calculator, wedding ring, watch etc.)· She should be able to take everything in good humour. (Eventually !)
· She should be able to reassure patients that all bleeding stops. (Again, eventually!!)
· She should not believe in the “rumour” that patient survives, whatever you do to them.
· She should not tell her co-worker’s name to a confused patient, and ask him to call her if needed any help.
· She should not call the “mostly well” men’s ward a hazardous place.
· She should not ask the doctors to write their orders legibly or clean up their mess.
· She should not use 30ml medicine cup for a “shotglass.”
· Finally, she should not identify it to the work place , when watching movies with “hell” scenes.

jokes courtsey - my friend david shay.